Cool Runnings

"Cool Runnings means "Be the Journey'"

With that, the story of the first Jamaican bobsled team unfolds in this Disney release. This movie can probably be divided into three main parts. The first part takes place in Jamaica as we are introduced to our characters, and they in turn are introduced to the idea of forming the bobsled team. Rather quickly we meet our four main characters, Derise, Yule, Junior and Sanka as well as their coach Irv played by the hilarious John Candy.

Our second portion of the film provides many hilarious antics as the now formed, and partially trained team arrives in Canada. We follow the group as they finally get a chance to start practising with a real sled and on the tracks they will compete upon. During this part, we also get to see our characters grow and become closer to each other over the course of things.

Our final part consists of the men as they compete in the Olympics. However it's hardly the peaceful journey as they are not viewed as equals by the other sled teams. This causes them to have a rigid relationship with the Swiss team in particular. Internal conflicts also arise as Irv's past catches up with him and threatens the teams qualifications in the Olympics.

Cool Runnings is a fun film, and is refreshing in the way that it covers a sport we haven't already seen a hundred times. All of our characters are fairly enjoyable, save for Sanka's voice in my own opinion, however to me John Candy stands out as one of the best things about this film.

Punisher: War Zone

The Punisher, oddly enough a fitting title given how much of a punishment watching this film can be. Not so much a sequel to the original Punisher, for some reason Marvel decided to reboot things instead.

Now, the film can be entertaining but it still lacks a lot of depth. All of the shootouts are so over the top it gets a bit silly. Our lead, Frank Castle, barely shows any emotion. Now while this might be just part of the character, the actor who portrays him still can't seem to really make the man likeable enough. Our villains are so over the top they make Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey from Batman Forever look sinister at times. Another detracting factor is just how overly done the gore can be for a Marvel film.

Through the film we find that the Punisher leaves a crime boss horribly disfigured. Swearing revenge on him the crime boss renames himself "Jigsaw" and proceeds to do whatever it takes to get even with the Punisher. We also find early in that an FBI agent was killed in the crossfire which brings down some added pressure to our hero as a fellow agent does everything he can to bring him in.

Shanghai Knights

When Chon Wang learns that his father has been murdered, he leaves his peaceful life in Carson City to reunite with his best friend, Roy O'Bannon. While the general story is about honor and revenge, it also expands into a long series of funny escapades as the two friends soon become tangled in a plot to kill the royal family of England.

Since the story takes place there are tons of gags and references to the country, starting with the usual Royal Guard one we would come to expect but also find a couple that are a bit more fun later on near the end of the film. Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson are back and at their best as their characters, also joining them in the action is Chon's sister played by Fann Wong. Rounding out the cast are our two villains played by Donnie Yen and Aidan Gillen. All of the newcomers do a rather good job in their roles, and easily hold their own with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson.

The story itself is a pretty basic one, though it is still rather enjoyable thanks to the cast. All of the choreography for the fight scenes is well done, though it has nothing on films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. As far as the humor goes, it really depends on what you enjoy. I myself didn't overly care for a lot of that, and didn't have too many laugh out loud moments. It doesn't surpass the first film, but it isn't terrible either and is a well done sequel.

Garfield's Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, what better holiday for the lovable feline to celebrate than this?

Garfield's holiday specials are much like the Peanuts in a couple ways. The first is that the animation is pretty simplistic, which suits it really well given how it is based off comic strips. It also does not detract from the story and characters by having overly ornate backgrounds. Even if the ornate ones look nice. A second way is how timeless it can feel. I've been watching these specials as long as I can remember, and I know that I will continue to watch these in the years to come. Even if both are a bit plain, they keep straight to the point generally and have a charming quality.

Moving on though to the special at hand, we are given a pretty common bunch of Garfield strips that are pieced together to form this 24 minute short. We find that Garfield is, shockingly, overweight after a trip to see Dr. Liz and is put on a diet. Sadly for Garfield, this is right in time for Thanksgiving. Also taking place at the vet's office is Jon as he attempts to woo the poor doctor, and actually manages to score a date.

What soon follows is a somewhat slow middle part as we watch Garfield suffer through his diet. We also find that Jon isn't all that great of a cook when it comes to Thanksgiving at least, and manages to mess things up greatly no thanks to Garfield who adds a zealous amount of garlic so that everyone else must suffer with him.

After a few more minutes of slow paced comedy, Garfield is finally given the ok by Liz to eat again. Of course, with the food ruined and Jon's culinary skills lacking it's time to call in Grandma! Before you can say Biker Blues, the Grandma is there and ready to help secretly while Jon distracts poor Liz with the history of Thanksgiving.

While it's not quite as well known as Garfield's Halloween or Christmas specials, Garfield's Thanksgiving is still a rather nice addition to the holiday lineup. The characters are fun and enjoyable, and despite a weaker middle bit it still holds up rather well overall for me.

Tarzan 2

Put your faith in what you most believe in. Well, I believe this movie is one giant "Big Lipped Alligator Moment." Essentially everything that happens in this movie is never discussed again, as if it had never happened. Usually sequels, or in some cases prequels, don't always interfere with the story from the first film. Movies like this however just screw with things since it happens right in the middle of the first film.

During Tarzan 2 the general theme is finding who you are. Our child sized hero tries to figure out who he is, since he seems to be failing at being a gorilla. Normally it's a rather nice theme to have in a movie, but "Tarzan" already covered this territory and in a better way.

Coming along for the adventure are Tarzan's friends, Terk and Tantor, as well as Kala. Joining in are four newer characters, a trio of evil apes and Zugor. While Zugor can be a somewhat alright character, the evil apes are rather out of place and seem to just be added for attempted comic relief. Most of their antics aren't really laugh out loud funny, and often border on a bit annoying.

The animation is rather iffy for me, on one hand the backgrounds are rather nice to look at - even if it has nothing on the theatrical releases. While the characters are a tad too cartoon show looking for my liking, it doesn't help that the main characters are younger.

Tarzan 2 is a passable film, I wouldn't really list it up in the top of the sequels released but it can still be an alright movie to watch. In the end, watch the first film and stick with that for it's far more entertaining.

Richie Rich

Alrighty, Culkin time! *slumps*

This is actually a movie that holds a few memories for me, I remember watching it long ago as a kid many times. Watching it back then I of course fully enjoyed it. But watching it again, I still do enjoy it for what it is, though my love for it is nowhere near as strong now.

The movie follows Richie Rich, the worlds richest child. Despite having more wealth than he knows what to do with, and anything and everything he could ever want (Including a roller coaster in his backyard) he's still quite lonely. It seems being rich doesn't buy you friends, even if his butler does try just that to some success.

One day, Richie finds that he enjoys playing baseball with some average kids in a back lot and after a bit of help from his butler manages to befriend them. Though I do wonder how much they were in it for all the fun stuff he has, more than they were in it for actually trying to be friends.

While all this is going on, the evil Van Dough plots to take over the Rich company. Unaware that Richie is not travelling with his parents, he blows up their plane as they are flying to England. Luckily though, the father's soft spot for sweets helps him discover the bomb before they can be killed and instead land in the ocean on the life raft.

Taking over for his father, Richie soon starts leading the company with a firm hand and helps to improve it in many areas. However, Van Dough soon manages to take the butler out of the way and takes over the parental rights of our hero. Things soon become war as Richie leads his friends in an effort to retake the mansion and oust the man. His parents and butler join in for the final fight on the small mountain behind their home which has their faces in a Mount Rushmore style. The day is soon saved and all is well again as Van Dough is carted off to jail and fired.

This film is probably one of Culkins best, save for the Home Alone's which are just a lot of fun. I think one thing that helps me enjoy this more is the fact that I have a soft spot for films from the 90's or perhaps just a guilty pleasure. A fairly decent film, despite any flaws it may have and regardless of the fact it would never win any awards. In the end it's just a fun film, though younger viewers may get a bigger kick out of it.

Men in Black 2

Men in Black!

Will Smith is back as Agent J in this second installment and is currently lacking a partner. It seems that ever since K (Tommy Lee Jones) retired, J has been going through several partners and gained a rep for neuralyzing them. This soon changes when Zaranna arrives in town, forcing Jay to go and get his old partner and mentor back in action.

Our villain's is quite prepared and takes over the entire MIB headquarters while Agents Jay and Kay are off working to get the latter man's memory back so that he can be of use in finding "The Light". It seems that he has a history with both the Light and the villain that goes back quite a few years.

Once they are able to get the full story, our heroes bust into their own base to take Zaranna on and save the world once again from being ruined.

Men in Black 2 reminds me a lot of the first one, though it doesn't really have the wonder that the first gave me. It also feels a bit....forced on the humor sometimes going into the more silly range that would appeal to kids. Though as far as sequels go, it's not all bad.

Cats and Dogs

So, Cats and Dogs. I much prefer the former myself, despite their apparent association with being evil. But, that aside we have canine heroes in this film as the two wage a secret war on each other.

We find a young, adorable puppy named Lou who is voiced by Toby Maguire (who is not adorable). He is quickly adopted into the home of a scientist played by Jeff Goldblum, despite his allergy to dogs. It seems that he is working on creating a cure for man's allergy to canines. This of course, makes the cats rather unhappy about it and lead by their leader Mr. Tinkles (I kid you not) they decide to use it to make all humans allergic to dogs.

Oof.

What follows is a rather boring film as the cats make attempts to steal the formula, while the dogs try to keep them from obtaining it. In the end the cats do get their hands, (er paws?), on the formula and start to put their plan into motion but in the end the dogs save the day.

Thankully this movie is about 10 minutes shorter than most other films, perhaps because they ran out of "interesting" things to do. The acting is rather dull, and my dislike for Goldblum only furthers the lack of interest. CGI and other effects feel sub par and there are more plotholes than I care to address, but I will say this, a dog United Nations council in the earths core. If you can explain that logically I applaud you.

Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True

Originally intended to be a t.v show series, Cindy didn't quite make it to television like the Little Mermaid before her. Instead, like Atlantis 2, the work they had finished was wrapped up into an episodic direct-to-video release.

Happily settled in the castle, the Fairy Godmother and the mice decide one day to make a book for Cinderella that highlights three stories about themselves. This is the general wraparound of each segment as we see them remember things to introduce and close each short.

Starting things off is a visit of the first few days in the castle. Back from the honeymoon, the King and Prince (who still has no name, poor guy) rush off to attend state affairs and leave Cinderella with the task of preparing a royal banquet for their return. "Helping" her with this is Prudence, a female version of the Duke, and Cinderella's two new ladies in waiting.

Cinderella soon finds that Prudence is quite the stickler for old fashioned rules. Between this and constantly having trouble getting things right, she soon learns that you have to do things your own way. The morale of the story, which is pushed at us a fair bit in the usual less than subtle fashion.

Moving along to the next segment. In this one we find that Jaq is quite tired of being a mouse and unable to help Cinderella better from his small size. After making a wish to be human, the Fairy Godmother appears and grants the wish, making him human. He quickly joins Cinderella under the disguise as "Sir Hugh" and does his best to help out from this new size. He soon finds though that things were better as a mouse, and learns that even though he is small she still enjoys his help and that he is still able to give her a hand.

Our final segment shows Anastasia in a different light. One day in the market she meets the Baker (who seems to be a regular) who suffers from the same disease as the Prince. "Nonameitis". However, this doesn't worry Anastasia as she falls in love with him despite Lady Tremaine's disapproval. Cinderella jumps in to lend a hand in helping the two become a couple, and teaches Anastasia that it's what is on the inside that counts and that she needs to stand up to their mother.

Given that this was meant for television means that the animation isn't nearly as amazing as other releases. If anything this movie weakens the majority of the characters, except in the case of Anastasia where I rather enjoyed seeing her get some growth. If anything, stick to the original classic. The final segment is my favorite though out of all of them, and I'd sooner watch that part than the others.

Scooby-Doo: Loch Ness Monster

More Scooby-Doo!

This trip around we go to the Blake Castle in Scotland. Apparently Daphne's family is just that rich. As the gang arrives Daphne's cousin, Shannon informs them that the Loch Ness monster has been terrorizing things lately ever since the Highland Games were to be held there.

We are quite quickly introduced to our cast of suspects before we get right down to the first chase. This occurs at night when the monster chases Shaggy and Scooby who go in search of a midnight snack. The following day, the group splits up as Shaggy and Scooby check out the town, while the others go out onto the Loch to investigate things. However, both groups are chased at the same time by the monster or as late is revealed, monsters.

We are given yet -another- chase not long after as the gang returns to the lake. This one takes place underwater as they use a submarine to check out some tunnels and try to see what they can find in the way of clues. A little later, a failed chase through a bog let's the gang discover that the one monster is a fake.

As always, Fred has a plan and they set it into motion. There are a few drawbacks though as Daphne and Shannon are taking captive (which seems to be common in the family history) and a fog bank blocks the view of Shaggy and Scooby who are playing the role of decoy on the loch. However, the gang manages to capture the monster and reveals the identity of the person. As the gang leaves after the Highland Games, the real monster briefly shows itself to Scooby.

Not too bad of a film, more enjoyable than the previous "Monster in Mexico" or "Cyber Chase" but it still is nowhere near as entertaining as the first films for the series.

Justice League: Justice On Trial

Justice League! The first of many DC/Marvel comics to be covered.

One thing about Justice League that I actually like more than say, Batman the Animated series, is that there is a wider abundance of characters. While Batman's show has a great variety of villains, Justice League expands that to include a lot of heroes as well. This will generally start as cameos but soon the roster will expand in the last two seasons.

So, tonight we look at the two parter "In Blackest Night." We start out on a distant planet, Abjuris 5 where there appears to be a trial going on. When the judges call for the guilty party to be present, we find that he has not yet been captured. Since the trial can't go on, they call in the Manhunters, large robots who they send to Earth to capture the criminal. Arriving on Earth, they waste little time in capturing the Green Lantern, John Stewart who hands himself over without a fight.

Sensing something isn't right, Superman, Hawkgirl, J'onn and Flash chase after their friend to help. The rest of the two parter largely follows the trial as Flash defends Green Lantern despite his protests that he and the others stay out of it. On the other side of things, we follow Superman and J'onn while they investigate the oddity of the crime.

It's soon revealed that the Manhunters have set up the hero to draw out the Lantern Corps leaders, enabling them to attack their home planet of Oa to seize the power it holds for themselves. However, the League is on the case and after chanting a catchy rhyme, Green Lantern puts an end to their plans.


Perhaps not one of the best two parter's largely due to how early into the season this aired. Due to this, characters aren't fully developed as they become later on and friendships are still growing. The animation is not quite as good as later seasons, but is still better than some shows released during the same time. Worth a watch for those interested in the series or characters.

Ultraman: Part One

*laughs uncontrollably*

.............................

Ok....ok I think I'm good now to review this. *Clears throat* Alright. Ultraman, perhaps one of the most cheesiest shows I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

Now, I don't know what the budget was like for this, or when it was made really. However, I do know that there is nothing more hilarious than watching two men in rubber suits try and do epic battles. Throw in a really fake Japanese city, a monster of the week plot and some silly scripts and you get Ultraman.


Episode 21: Break Through the Smoke

So, in this episode two of our main group, Fuji and Hoshino disappear while checking things out near an active volcano. Captain Murra decides to send in the rest of the Science Patrol to find and rescue them, however bigger problems arise when a powerful monster that is poisonous arrives and begins to attack! It's up to Ultraman to save the day, even though the monster out powers him.

Episode 22: Underground Destruction Work

Ide, a member of Science Patrol, becomes convinced that an agent dispatched from HQ isn't who she appears to be. He is soon proven correct when she reveals to be a member of a underground dwelling group of humanoids who wish to enslave all on Earth's surface.


Both episodes are pretty fun to watch, even if you spend more time laughing at the show itself than any jokes it has. The opening song and credits are pretty trippy and make me think that this is a product of the 60's or 70's. Most likely the latter. This show really is only for the most diehard fan, or those who just happen to love stuff like this.

The Matrix

Ah, The Matrix. How I....am so bored by thee.

The Matrix is one of those films, never mind trilogies, that I just could never get into. While I will admit the movie is good, especially when it comes to it's mind warped stunts, it's still just hard to fully enjoy. Part of this is how it can feel so very long, as well adding in how it often has parts where you need to give a bit more attention than normal movies. The final detracting factor for me is just the fact that I get lost in all of the technobabble, and really wind up not caring.

However, the cast is rather top notch and the special effects are amazing (for the time it came out). The story is pretty solid, though I really can't tell if there are plot holes or not since my brain just shut off and instantly forgot most of the details. However here is what I do recall;

Neo (Keanu Reeves) is just another guy, but one day Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) comes into his life and reveals that the world is not really all that great (surprise surprise) and instead it's an alternate reality. The truth is, we are actually asleep and being controlled by articial intelligence that is bent on conquering us and has pretty much done so to nearly every human save for a few rebels. Whoa. Still with me? Rounding out the heroes is Morpheus' gang which includes Carrie Anne Moss and a bunch of other faces I vaguely remember from other movies. Their names however elude me.

Providing our villains are a bunch of AI units and the famous Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving). Smith is pretty much the main villain here as he chases after Neo and the others, as well as the AI units chasing them in the real world.

In the end this movie ends on a climax that would make it for a good standalone film, however two sequels soon followed. What can I tell you of them? Just the titles, alas. Perhaps one day I will get around to reviewing them, but until then my brain shall get some much needed recovery.

Beethoven

One of many films catering towards children about our canine companions. Generally this film is much easier to sit through if you are younger, or a really big dog lover. If you are not one of these, chances are you should skip the film and watch something more along your taste.

The first half works rather well as the dog, Beethoven, wrecks havoc among the household after persuading the family to keep him. One running gag, the dog urinating where he shouldn't, is used a tad too often and wears thin on ones patience.

During the second half, we are introduced to our veterinarian villain. This is where the film falls apart as it becomes your run of the mill "Kids drama" film. At one point our villain even threatens the dog with a handgun........

Beethoven has nothing on some canine features like Shiloh or Lassie, yet is still better than others such as Cats & Dogs.

Three Musketeers (Disney)

Mickey, Donald and Goofy once again team up, this time as the Three Musketeers in this feature length outing.

We open to our narrator, who introduces us to the story through his comic book and with the help of a song he wrote. All of the songs are a bit peppy, and have comical twists to classical music including Beethoven and Tcaikovsky. Sometimes it's a bit too comical, though it is a rather fun new approach to songs that might otherwise lose the interest of the target audience.

Our three heroes it seems are actually working as janitors for the Musketeers, which is lead by the villainous Pete (complete with his peg leg!). Quite quickly we learn that he is our villain, despite it being rather obvious, and that he plots to become King by kidnapping Princess Minnie Mouse with the help of his three goons and his lieutenant Clarabelle.

Through the short movie, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy learn what it takes to be Musketeers and never give up even after failing twice to hold their own. But when they work together, they easily save the day.

Fun songs aside, I actually enjoyed the rare use of Clarabelle instead given how her role could easily have been neglected. Even then, for a rather straight forward plot the Three Musketeers is a fun romp and one of the far better direct to video releases that Disney has put out.

Pryde of the X-Men

Acting as a pre-X-Men launcher, Pryde of the X-Men is a standalone episode that let audiences get to see our favorite mutants in action on television.

Narrated by a rather excited Stan Lee, we follow Kitty Pryde as she is introduced to the X-Men and is offered a place amongst them. Wary of the whole idea, Kitty takes a bit of a disliking to Nightcrawler which will act as a small subplot for the next 20 minutes.

Not all is well though as Magneto is released from containment and attacks Xavier's mansion, stealing an important chip. His plan is to stay safely aboard his asteroid base with his Brotherhood as he redirects a comet to strike earth, thereby wiping out humans. I had a small problem with this, wouldn't it also affect mutants? Perhaps this Magneto isn't quite as smart as the version we will later get in the proper series.

Of course, the X-Men and Kitty are on the job as they blast off to the asteroid to save the day! Fighting back against the evil mutants, Kitty and Nightcrawler manage to destroy the asteroid base and become friends in the process. However, Magneto and his group manage to escape for next time.

This standalone episode, despite it's flaws, does have a few perks. The main thing I enjoyed about this episode was the various characters used. On the X-Men we get the rarely seen Dazzler, as well we get Nightcrawler, Colossus and Kitty who make the rare appearances here and there in the later series but in this episode are part of the team. For the villains we get a rather enjoyable Brotherhood, even with Emma Frost substituting for Mystique.

Some flaws, animation aside, include the corny narration and poor choice on vocals for Kitty and Wolverine. However, it's still a bit of fun to watch even if it has nothing on later shows.

Men In Black

Once an old favorite of mine from when I was younger, Men in Black over time was pushed aside in favor of newer movies that better held my interest, as well, ones that I had not seen multiple times when I'd prefer to see something new.

Men In Black follows Will Smith as he plays an officer of the NYPD who soon becomes recruited into the mysterious Men In Black. Taking him under his wing is Tommy Lee Jones who quickly works to try and train Smith in their ways. Adding pressure is the fact that a rather unhappy group of aliens is demanding that the "galaxy" be returned to them, if it is not they will destroy the earth.

The film for me is divided into a three main parts, the first of which is where we meet our characters and get to know a little bit of the way things work. Following that we get to continue learning a bit of the MIB while watching Jay (Smith) be trained and get going as the newest recruit to the group. Ending it is the main story, where we follow their race to get to the "galaxy" before a large cockroach villain and save the earth from being blow apart.

Men In Black can be quite comedic, though still contains a fun balance of action and sci-fi as well. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are a far more interesting pair than last nights duo of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. The two also seem to work really well together, neither one overshadowing the other. Despite the fact it has fallen a bit from it's previous place among my favorites, it is still a fully enjoyable film and well worth a watch for those wanting a lighter sci-fi film that does not require constant attention to every little thing said.

Shanghai Noon

Ah, Jackie Chan. A rather common sight in comedies and/or martial arts movies for the last twenty years at the very least. His partners in these movies though can be....questionable. In Shanghai Noon we get Owen Wilson and his brand of...humor.

I'm just going to say it outright, I really don't care for him at all, when I watch this movie it's for Jackie Chan and Lucy Liu, who are easily the best part of this movie.

Shanghai Noon follows Jackie Chan as he plays Chong Wang (The first of two name related jokes) as he heads for the Wild West to rescue the beautiful Princess Pei Pei. Along the way he meets a rather terrible outlaw named Roy O'Bannon who quickly derails him for an adventure filled with jail time, brawls, bordello's and villains!

The film can be quite fun to watch, Chon Wangs clueless nature regarding all things Western as he searches for the Princess that he cares for. Roy O'Bannon at times can be alright, though I often find myself really not caring for him at all. Despite it's initial hilarity, the "Uno Mas" scene can be great fun the first time around but it does wear thin if you hear it several times over and over.

The performances are all really well done for this film, though it does leave me wanting a bit more to call it "Really Good" Probably not Jackie Chans best, but far from his worst.