Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Ninja Turtles, like several t.v shows eventually moved onto the big screen.

As we open, we get a news report from April O'Neill as she talks about the recent escalation in crime. Unlike the animated series, this April lacks her trademark yellow jumpsuit in favor of normal clothing. Well. Normal for the early 90's that is. Though she does don a raincoat in a loose reference to it. Much like the series though, she tends to drift towards the damsel in distress role.

We're quickly introduced to the four turtles and their mentor, Master Splinter. Who, all look pretty good visually even if it's actors in suits. An example of this being Splinter's talk with Raphael. Not to be outdone, the Shredder also looks quite good.

One thing that works in favor of the movie, is the fact that it does not rely on the world established in the t.v series. The series being something we will cover at a much later date.

The movie's plot is fairly simple, during a crime wave orchestrated by Shredder the turtles leader is captured and they must come to his rescue. Despite this, the movie is quite enjoyable with it's mix of humor aimed towards adults yet enough for the younger crowd.

Cyborg

Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn and Dayle Haddon this movie is generally a long series of fights strung along a very thin plot if it could really be called that.

The movie largely centers on Van Damme who plays Rickenbacker, a slinger as he travels to seek revenge on Fender (played by Klyn) and his cannibalistic pirates who have kidnapped Pearl Prohphet the half human, half robot who contains needed information on how to cure the plague that befell the world. Each of the three major players has something generally odd about them, from Van Damme's superhealing to the odd fascination in making a slightly big deal over the villain's eyes.

To be fully honest, the pirates come off more as...deranged pirates. The cannibalism seems far more downplayed. Even then, the timeline is a tad annoying as we often get flashbacks, some repetitive in the case of Rickenbacker's. It's almost as if they didn't know what to do and so they decided to fill time by showing us the same flashback story over and over but the last time showing us the full thing. My question is, why not just show us the entire thing once through in the start and cut to X number of years later?

Now, if this is the future...where are all the guns? Even if the world fell into ruin which prevented futuristic guns, surely that doesn't mean older models aren't still floating around? Or vehicles of some sort. Also. Why Atlanta? Of all the cities that are still...decently populated or deemed safe, why that one? Why won't the plot explain any of this! *sighs*

Another thing noticed upon this viewing, is how the same sets seem to be recycled a bit. We get two sets of beach scenes and warehouse fights. Did they just really suck at travelling or do ruins just look that similar?

Something I don't understand is how halfway in the film, one villain is able to keep Van Damme busy long enough for backup to arrive and subdue him. Yet earlier, he was able to take on multiple other pirates. Did the other just suck that badly? And why didn't the pirate leader just use that plan right away if it's so effective?

Based off all these questions, it's hard to really say anything good about the plot when so much could have been done to better explain the current state of the world other than the quite brief overview we receive as the film opens.

Now, as we reach the end, Van Damme is nailed up on a cross. Yet minutes later in Atlanta his wounds seem healed, however we are given no indication of how much time has passed. Has it been days? Weeks? How did he heal so fast after having things nailed through his arms? If they're in the city why is there no backup from good guys? One final question would be...why the hell does Van Damme succeed against the pirates this time after getting his ass kicked last time by one guy and cavalry who stood and watched? *headdesk* Logic. It seems to be lacking here.

The fight against the leader, Fender is quite long and just when you think he's dead, the bugger gets right back up and keeps on going as if he were related to Jason or Freddy. Please, just die now and stay dead so we can wrap this movie up before any more oddities can jump out at me. Oh wait. Too late. The lead? Doctor stands there and greets Pearl home. So did they not realize she was outside nearly dying? Do they not have some form of guards who could have helped?

Ultimately, as is predictable, Van Damme succeeds in taking revenge on Fender and safely returns Pearl Prophet to Atlanta's doctors so that the cure can (hopefully) be created. All in all it's not one of the greatest action films, nor is it one of the best martial arts ones out there. Perhaps if a few things were changed it would be better.