Remake Review Rumble.

Oof what a title. This time around I thought I might try something different. I gathered together the remakes of three of the most iconic horror figures and sat through all three in a row to see which of them stands out. All three movies will receive a small review and a rating based off several factors which include:

- Characters
- Plot
- Scares
- How much has changed from the original
- The Slasher

With that said, let's get started with the first film.

Halloween

Now, I've already reviewed this one in the past so I will make this rather brief. Nothing has changed. The characters are still horrible and impossibly hard to root for, mostly due to the plot and dialogue being rehashed from Rob Zombies other films. Everything is taken to the extreme through the entire film to the point of it just being plain stupid. Michael Myers loses a fair bit of points since he has changed a fair bit thanks largely to how we spend so much time with him while he's young. Scares are minimal, limited to only two, which is pretty bad considering the films length. One small thing to nitpick is that in the beginning the report is giving us exposition in great length on what we just saw two seconds prior even though there is no way he should know all of that information so early on - especially when the bodies are still being wheeled out of the house covered up.

2/5 stars.


Nightmare on Elm Street

Again, another film that I have already reviewed. So, not a whole lot has changed exactly with this film either. The movie actually isn't all that bad, certainly a step up from Halloween. One thing that this film definitely lacks compared to the other two is a body count, which is kept rather minimal in Elm Street. Part of me is sort of torn on the topic, while I do enjoy seeing all the silly teenagers meet their ends due to being struck with Stupidity (or at least most of the time) I also don't mind a minimal body count if it suits the story. I don't honestly think it would have hurt to have a couple more deaths here or there seen or referenced, but as it is things are still alright. My main issue in this film is that Freddy just isn't Freddy anymore. While he still has the same hand and basic look, his face is far too clean looking compared to Robert Englund's look which I found much scarier. While on the topic of scares, this one is also rather lacking for me, but more than makes up for it in other areas. The only other small annoyances are the "Did he or didn't he?" plot and how Nancy is rather....distant as a character. I much prefer the original heroine over this remakes Nancy.

3/5 Stars


Friday the 13th

Finally a film I haven't seen prior to this! It's also, possibly the most entertaining of them despite being so vastly changed from the original film. Friday the 13th opens it's credits by showing us the ending of the original first film in which Pamela Voorhees stalks her last victim and meets a grisly end instead. We then open up to our victims. Sort of. It turns out this first batch of victims only set up things for the rest of the film and we proceed to spend a good deal of time watching them interact before being easily dispatched by our killer. One small note for this group is that I cheered when the extremely annoying guy was picked off, sadly he would be replaced not long after by someone worse.

A few weeks pass in the film and we meet our actual victims for the rest of the film which include a stoner, a token black guy, our main girl, the annoying guy and three other fodder characters who don't' have a whole lot to them. We also meet our hero played by Jared Padalecki who is in search of his sister who is currently a captive of Jason underneath one of the old cabins. This sort of ties in the second films elements in which Jason finds the heroine to resemble his mother, making it easy for her to fight back against him and uses it to her advantage.

The film generally plays out as one would expect it to, though the characters, save for one, can be rather fun to watch. I of course say this in comparison to Halloween's crew. One main reason this film is rather changed from the original is that it actually ties in elements from the first three films including Jason wearing a sack over his head at first, to finding his mask. The only minor annoyance is how smart Jason appears to be in keeping electricity running in his underground hideout and how he has searchlights set up above ground around the cabin. This felt a bit off from the stalker in the woods vibe that he's better known for.

3/5


So there we have it. Three remakes in one day, phew. All in all I found the Friday the 13th remake to be just a bit more enjoyable than Nightmare On Elm Street, and Halloween brings up the rear. There is a small chance though that it would have ranked higher if I were to have added The Fog remake in as well...but that's a different story for another time!